October 6, 2016

I’m Voting For Donald Trump: Paid Opportunity

I’m curious why people are voting for Donald Trump. Please send submissions, any word count, to jeffrey.hartinger@gmail.com. These will be posted confidentially. For example:

“I’m voting for Donald Trump due to his experience in politics.” – Sarcastic Dude, 27, San Francisco, California.

But, don’t be sarcastic! It’s widely known that Mr. Trump has not worked in government in any fashion, so this would be an absurd reason.

Let me try that again:

“Donald Trump will get my vote due to his smart business practices.” – Girl Who Doesn’t Understand How The Economy Works, 22, Seattle, Washington.

No, he lost almost one billion dollars in 1995. Fuck taxes. Do you even know how many Beanie Babies he could have bought?

I want serious, valid reasons. I want people to defend their opinions!

For example:

“Respect for women? Baby, he’s got it!” – Aretha, 33, Des Moines, Iowa.

Ah, geez. I mean something like this:

“I’m voting for Donald Trump because he doesn’t flip-flop on major issues that will legitimately impact the lives of all Americans on the topics of the economy, environment and science, criminal justice, healthcare, privacy, education, immigration, religion and social issues, among other things.” – Hillary, 68, Chicago, Illinois.

On second thought, this is no longer a paid opportunity and I’m great and my boyfriend is handsome and things will be awesome and let’s build a fence around our yard and make our neighbors pay for it! #MakeJeffreysBlogGreatAgain